We got the news this week that I have another 6 weeks here in the happiest place on earth, aka Cerro Verde. I was so happy to find out I didnt have a change. This area is the bee's knees, and the investigators we are teaching are also other cool parts of bees. But yeah, this week was pretty interesting. We had some swell lessons with some swell people, and the people we are teaching are progressing a ton. We are teaching Desire, the mom of a member, and she is seriously so cool. She is going to be baptized in the near future. Also, Mario, another swell gentleman, will be baptized this saturday if all goes as planned! He is one of the best people I have ever taught as far as being receptive goes. He has such a genuine desire to learn and follow Christ that it just makes it all so easy. He is the man. As far as cool or funny stories go, I have a few. This week, I tried my bargaining skills for the first time. There is a store here that sells american shoes, and Elder Merlos saw a pair of Nike's he really wanted. He was going to buy them, but I wanted to see if I could get them for cheap. There are no set prices here, so you can bargain all the day long if you are good at it. I figured 8 months of changing peoples minds about stuff would make me great at bargaining haha. The shoes were originally 1300 lempiras (65 dollars), but I promised Merlos I would get them for 1000 lempiras (50 dollars) and told him to not bring any more than that amount of money. I dont know why I went as far as to tell him to not even leave the house with extra money, but I was that confident. Walking up to the store I got SO nervous like I was about to rob a bank or something, but then I realized I was being irrational and was there to do a job. We walked in, went right to where we knew the shoes were, and I started prepping for the lady to come over. I kept doing breathing excersies and telling Merlos "Its go time son. Watch daddy go to work". The lady finally came over and was trying to sell us on the shoes, and I went in to bargaining mode. It seriously took like 45 seconds for me to get the price down to where I wanted it hahaha. It was kind of anticlimatic, but I felt cool. She was so against giving them to me that low, but I got all bargain-y on her and made her realize that it was the right thing to do. She even went as far as to call her husband (apparently the owner of the store. Or of her. Im not sure why she needed permission haha) and ask if it was ok. She comes back and said she would give them to me for 1000. NAILED IT. They were all so impressed with my bargaining skills and thought I was some international businessman from the good ole US of A. I just let them think that and we went on our way haha. These shoes cost like 95 bucks in the motherland, and we got them for 50. It was a great day in our lives. On to kind of a more personal part...but whatever haha. Its kind of gross, so just be forewarned. Ok, well. How do I put this. I have been having some...stomach issues, if you will, for like 2 weeks. That's kind of an extended period of time to be having this particular brand of stomach issues, so it has caught our attention. Well, funny story number 1 from this. We were talking to an investigator who asked if we ever get sick, being from the states, and Merlos and I looked at eachother and laughed, then explained that I was sick at the moment. Ok, whatever Im just going to say it, Im sick of thinking of pleasant ways to say it haha. Ive got diarrhea. Take me or leave me. I'm still a representative of Jesus Christ. I digress. I explained what I had, and like any good Honduran person, this lady told me what I needed to do fix myself. I thanked her for her help, but then she went on to say something even more interesting. After giving me the cure, she goes "As for me, I LOVE having diarrhea." I. Lost. It. With zero shame, this lady just straight up laid down the line about her love for diarrhea. She went as far as to say it "fascinates" her. I was crying from laughing so hard. She was like "no! im serious! It is great!" Probably the highlight of my week. Story Number Two: Us gringos pretty much just deal with diarrhea being here in Honduras. Its kind of just a thing sometimes. But, 2 weeks is a little bit too MUCH of a thing haha. We decided to call the nurse, and I just felt so weird about doing it that I had to like shield my embarrasment with humor. I didnt exactly feel comfortable calling a sister missionary (that I came from the MTC with) and telling her that my poop wasnt normal haha. Anyway, I called her, and I said "Hermana. I dont want to alarm you or anything, and keep in mind that I'm not a doctor, but based off of my years of experience playing the hit computer game 'Oregon Trail' and dealing with the loss of many computerized loved ones to this disease, I can confidently say that I think I am dying of dysentery." I succesfully avoided the awkwardness and was able to inch my way in to explaining my actual problem haha. She made me go to some clinic to do a stool sample (awkward), and it all came back good, so Mom you can stop worrying as I'm sure you are as you read this haha. I just ate something weird, and Im coming it of it as we speak. This would have killed a normal man. Really, I just said all of this personal information just so I could tell my dysentery joke haha. Stay classy world!
Elder Shuga
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