BOLO, TE CREO, GUIPERS, RACIAL SLURS

Hello Again World!
I never know how to address these emails because I don't know who all reads them, but there you go haha. We do so much random stuff during the week that I never know what to write off the top of my head, so I sit with my planner open next to me to remember what to talk about haha. So Monday was P-Day and we really don't do much other than go to member's FHE's at night, so it wasn't too exciting. Now that I think about it, Tuesday really was just a normal day too. My horrible memory is making it really hard to write an email right now. This isn't looking good hahaha. I guess Monday and Tuesday were pretty normal as far as Honduran standards go, but Wednesday was new and fresh, so I'll talk about that. So Wednesday was an official change meeting, not an emergency one like the one I had at first because we were 2 weeks early, and the whole mission had to come to San Pedro Sula. Which means I saw Elder Stewart!! It was so fun seeing him. We both freaked out about all the crazy things that happen here and shared our stories. He has been attacked by dogs and stuff. He has been in the city so he was talking about how upset he was that he brought all this bug spray and their aren't even that many bugs, and how he is gaining a ton of weight because he gets fed ALL the time. When I told him about my area (eating once a day, bugs EVERYWHERE) he wanted to trade me so bad, mostly for the weight loss hahaha. But anyways, enough about that guy haha. We all had to go to the change meeting because they were changing some rules in the mission. Nothing really that is important to any of you civilians, but it was interesting haha. One major thing is that they are for sure splitting the mission in half like I said last week. It’s going to be San Pedro Sula East and West. You will find out if you are in East or West based off of where you are after the change in June. So if you get changed to an area that's in the West mission, you'll be in the SPS West mission for the rest of your time here. Pretty interesting! So after all the changes and everything, we went back to our area and had lessons for the rest of the night. The couple that is having all the trouble with their baptism/wedding (Marcos and Lidia) is still having more trouble. We have to go to a city where they only need to have a kid to get married, so we rented the bus and everything, and then they said they weren’t ready. So we had a bus all ready to go for Tuesday of this coming week (tomorrow) and they are backing out. So the zone leaders said they were going to come to their house with us and talk to them, and bring a member who had a similar situation when she was getting baptized so that she could testify to them that it’s all good. Our Zone Leader had a change so we have 1 new zone leader, but the old one wanted to come to this lesson, so he went on transfers so he could come with the new zone leaders. So picture me and Elder Zura sitting on these people's dirt porch waiting for them to show up, and then this SUV comes rolling down this hill to their house filled with 3 guys in suits and some lady they don't know. Marcos and Lidia FREAKED out like it was the police or something hahaha. Their faces were priceless. We talked to them and it turns out he doesn't want to get married on Tuesday because there is some Spanish song that talks about not getting married or leaving your house on Tuesdays. SO RANDOM. So we are shooting for Wednesday of this week, but we'll see what happens. So now on to Thursday. Thursday we had to go BACK to San Pedro Sula for the new missionary and trainer teaching clinic thing. It was just a couple hours of how to train new missionaries, so it was pretty boring haha. Elder Stewart got transferred to a new area (he got put in a trio for the emergency change until the next change happened, which was Wednesday, so that's why he got changed and I didn't). His area is WAYYY far from SPS, like 8 hours, so he had to leave early which was a bummer. But apparently this place is like super poor and the "Weight Loser" of the mission, so I'm stoked to see him at 120 lbs in 6 weeks hahaha. Anyways, moving on. Friday we had a baptism! The 9 year old nephew of a member in our ward got baptized, so that was pretty cool. He wasn't like an investigator or anything because everyone in his family are members, but it was still cool. The kids uncle couldn't make it because he had work obligations, so Elder Zura did the baptism. This kid probably weighs like 40 pounds, so when Zura dunked him and lifted him back up, he like FLEW out of the water. It was hilarious haha. That same day, we went back to the house of the Bolo (which just means the drunk guy) that I talked about last week. We told him we would come back if he was sober and teach him. We went all the way to his house and he wasn't there, but his wife was there chilling in a hammock. So we talked to her for a little bit and ended up teaching lesson 1. She was like super receptive to it which was awesome, but when we invited her to come to church, she said she couldn't because she had just had surgery. Elder Zura always talks about how people here ALWAYS make up excuses that are totally false, so he asks the lady to see her scar from the surgery. WHAT?! Who does that?? Anyways, he asks her thinking that he is going to catch her in a lie. All of the sudden, she rolls out of the hammock, starts whipping up her shirt like towards over past her bra (or lack their of) to show him the scar and he panics and says "oh freak oh freak TE CREO TE CREO" Which is like "I believe you I believe you!" I seriously lost it hahahaha. I didn't understand that he had asked her to see the scar, but one I saw the shirt come up, saw a giant scar, and heard him freak out, I realized what was going on. It was seriously so funny and weird. Probably the funniest thing that happened this week. Moving on. Saturday we woke up and Zura told me we were going to go find a reference that was wayyyy far away. By way far away, he meant an hour walk up this MOUNTAIN that is near us. I was stoked. We headed out and then I became less stoked. It was SO far away. But it was actually way cool. We were legit like in the jungle. We came across this river of like super cool water and this family was chilling there, so we taught them for a bit. Way random. But then we continued on our journey. We made it like all the way up the mountain to the verrrryyy last house and it was the people we were looking for. I don't know how Zura knew where to go. We talked with them for a while and kind of just got to know them. They had a parakeet looking bird that was sitting above us as we talked, and it pooped on Zura's leg, so I got a kick out of that. The whole time we were talking, the husband was busy chopping these giant pieces of wood because he needed to get them somewhere at a certain time for whatever reason. He put them in two giant bundles and said he had to go. Elder Zura, being the Christlike, gentleman that he is, offered to help him carry it. The guy didn't want to trouble us, but Zura insisted, so the guy obliged and said that he'll take the big one and we can take the smaller one. I was like "Wow Zura, what a guy". But then he told me that I had to carry it because he did service for the last person we helped (which was just carrying a bag of groceries for some lady to her house) and it was my turn. I had to carry this giant thing of wood ALL THE WAY DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. It was seriously so heavy!! 

The whole time I was going down, I kept thinking to myself how I never would have guessed that I would be carrying a giant bundle of wood down the side of a mountain, in a random village in Honduras, after teaching about the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ in the Spanish language. My life has become so random haha. It was a cool experience, but my shoulder seriously killed the next day haha. That guy is a man among men if he does that every day for a living. On to Sunday. Every Sunday we meet with the Bishop and a few other people and talk about our progress for the week. Its always funny because their goal for the year is 34 baptisms and they had no idea that we could get so many so fast, so they are like blown away. I told Zura we should do an English class at the church because a ton of people would show up and we could get more investigators. The bishop announced it in Sacrament meeting and the people freaked out. The chance to learn English from a real life gringo and a bilingual mexican? Too good to be true! The only English that people know here are bad words, but they don;t know they're bad. For example, the first councilor said "What is up n***a?" to me when he shook my hand on Sunday. Never in my wildest dreams did I think a priesthood leader would use a racial slur towards me hahaha. Sunday we had ANOTHER baptism! It’s a long story why it was on Sunday, but it’s all good. It was the husband of a lady who got baptized last week. He was the one who said he would have got baptized last week too, if only there were more clothes. He is the guy in the jeans in the picture I sent last week. He wanted to be in every picture we took for some reason haha. So that was cool! That's pretty much it for the week! It seriously FLEW by. This next coming week should be pretty interesting, so be stoked for that. Now on to the random things that don't fit in anywhere in particular! 1. All my MTC teachers told us that in Latin culture, it is normal to call people fat. It is like a descriptive term, and it really isn't offensive. It is like saying "Yeah, my friend is the blonde girl", but they just say "my friend is the fat girl". Anyways,I thought that was random and couldn't wait to see it happen. In one of our lessons, one of the members was testifying of how Elder Zura and his old companion helped them through their conversion, but she couldn’t remember Zura's name so she just said “Elder Jiminez and…el gordito” which is “the fat one”. I thought it was seriously so funny, and so did Zura. It’s not mean here though, so I’m not a bad person. Trust me. Haha. Afterwards, he said it doesn’t matter that he's fat because his body will be perfected after he dies, so why worry about it now? Yeah, great logic haha. 2. Let me tell you about guipers. Pronounced like “jeepers” but with a “guh” sound like the word “go”. Guipers. A guiper is a girl who flirts with or is attracted to a missionary. I get guipers ALL the time. All the gringos do. I don’t know what is more attractive, my looks or my American citizenship, but it’s hilarious. We were eating at a restaurant and this group of high school aged girls was like blatantly staring at me. One was trying to sneak a picture of me on her cell phone. They kept looking at me, then I’d look at them, then they would all put their heads down and giggle. Finally we left, and they all just started whistling at me as I walked away. I'm so sick of people objectifying me… hahaha I joke. It’s hilarious. After one lesson with a family, Zura told me that we shouldn’t go back. When I asked why, he said “The 20 year old daughter was…how you say..? Looking at you like she wanted your clothes off? Is that how you say it in English?” hahaha. I love when he doesn’t know how to express what he wants in English; it makes me feel ok about my Spanish haha. But yeah, it’s crazy. They are everywhere. No worries though, I don’t do anything back to them. 3. I saw a guy playing soccer. Normal right? Here’s the catch: He had no legs. Crazy! He literally had no legs, like he stopped at his hips, and he was moving around by lifting himself with his hands and landing on his hips. He used his hands like his feet and he was super good. It was so random but so cool. 4. We were in a lesson and we brought our ward mission leader. All was normal until I felt a grab at my calf. I look down and our ward mission leader is grabbing my calf and telling me how strong it looks. First of all, what the heck. Second of all, we are in the middle of a lesson. Third of all, I know, don’t praise me. Fourth, who does that? Hahaha. It was so random. A bit before, he touched my pants, and I thought he was just swatting a bug off or something. It turns out he was pushing them tight on my leg so he could marvel at my calf hahaha. This makes him sound like a creep, but I promise he isn’t. He’s normal and awesome, but this was definitely a weird moment for him haha. Ok, I think that’s about it for this week. This has been another instalment of Elder Shuga’s crazy super random life at the moment. Tune in next week to see what happens with Marcos and Lidia, more baptisms, guipers, teaching drunk people, and people objectifying me. I’m loving it here!

Adios!

Elder Shuga